Do you know how to talk to your man? Is your boyfriend the silent type, not telling you what he thinks or feels? When you ask him questions and try to get him to open up, does he seem to go farther away? Is he confused about what you want from him?
Talking to men can be difficult if you don't understand how they are wired. Even if your guy is the talkative type, he still may not be good at sharing thoughts, feelings, or sentiments that are of any depth. Would you like to know the five secrets in how to talk to a man? Here are some facts that may surprise you and guide you:
1. You cannot talk to men the way you talk to other women.
Women are almost always ready to share. If you woke your girlfriend up at three in the morning to tell her the details of your fight with your boyfriend, she could tune into what you are saying in about five seconds. Conversely, if you woke your boyfriend up to tell him anything important, it would be the equivalent of a bee sting. He would be jolted, disoriented, and a little mad. He would need twenty minutes to regroup and hear what you are saying.
SECRET #1: Don’t approach men for conversation when they are not in an approach mode. Give them time and opportunity to be able to listen to you. They want to be there for you and give you what you need, but you have to understand that they need to have distractions removed, time to focus on the conversation, and a clear and defined understanding of what you want from them.
2. Men have been programmed for centuries to take care of the family.
When you take any complaint to him, even if you are only crying because your hair came out green instead of blonde, he unconsciously thinks it is his fault. If a man feels he is not taking good care of you, (and complaints are translated into thinking you are not happy with him,) he experiences tremendous physiological discomfort. He hears your problem as HIS failure. Withdrawal is his protection in these situations.
SECRET #2: Don’t misinterpret the silent male or underestimate how much you mean to him. He is highly vulnerable to you.